Mormons vs. Trolls

Mormon Myths

Not really a Mormon Myth, but funny.  This is a True Story.  Really.

A friend (“Sally”) of our family works with people of disabilities.  They range in age from children to adults as well as level of need/disability.

8am – One morning Sally got a panicked call from a 75-year-old client (“Bob”).

Bob:  You have to come over here, quick!

Sally:  Bob, I can’t.  I’m at work right now.  What’s wrong?

Bob:  I can’t tell you.

Sally:  I can’t come until later this evening when I’m off work.  Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?

Bob:  You’d never believe me.  You just have to come.

Despite Sally’s prodding, Bob refused to share anything further and the call ended.

12pm – Bob called again, breathing heavily with exertion.

Bob:  Sally, you have to come right now.  I can’t do this on my own.

Sally:  Do what?

Bob:  I’ve caught a troll.  And he keeps getting away.

3pm – Worried, Sally left work early and went to the elderly man’s home.

He answered the door, looking disheveled and wild-eyed.  The front room was completely torn apart, chairs turned upside down.  No signs of a troll, or any other creature.

Sally:  Where is it?

Bob:  In my room.  I’ve got him trapped in the closet.

As they walked through the house Sally realized that every room was turned upside down.  Furniture was flipped, books thrown about, bookcases on their sides, and pictures fallen from walls.

Entering the bedroom Sally saw the bureau pushed against the closet door, piled high with an assortment of heavy objects. Against that was Bob’s bed mattress.  Figuring he created an imaginary troll, she placated him.

Sally:  Bob, why don’t you go in the living room and I’ll take care of the troll.

He agreed and left the room.  Just as the door closed, Sally heard a small *knock, knock, knock* from the closet.

She hesitantly removed the mattress, then slid the bureau away from the door.  Sally slowly opened the closet and to her surprise . . . . found a midget.

He was proselytizing (not Mormon, but of another faith) and knocked on Bob’s door earlier that morning.  When answering the door, Bob moved back in wide-eyed shock to see the small man.  The “troll” stepped into the house.  75-year-old Bob tackled him.

Can you picture it?  A 75-year-old, mentally disable man chasing a little person around his hour for 7 hours? 7 hours!  The old man, sure he was catching the rarest and most dangerous of creatures; a troll who had the gall to step foot in his house.  All his efforts in vain, when sweet Sally released the mystical opponent.  What did poor Bob do?  Surely the Brothers Grimm would have him for this one!

And what of the missionary?  What did he say later when reporting to his superiors?

“I’m sorry – I only managed one appointment today because a crazy old retard locked me in his closet, but I think he’s close to converting.”

Just so you know. . . . Mormon missionaries are NOT trolls and won’t come into your home without welcome.  Please do not tackle them.  They really are quite nice.

– Chickout 😉


About atmchick

I'm a well grounded (a)typical Mormon (Latter-day-saint) chick.

Posted on April 5, 2010, in Mormon Myths and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. This story is funny, thank you for sharing! 🙂
    But to be entirely PC, the preferred term is “Little Person” not “midget” that word is a tad derogatory…
    I’m really enjoying reading your blog! 🙂

  2. Wonderful recreation of our funny story. I hope others love it as well.

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